We have been Mexicuted, Part I

I really don't know where to start and this may be all over the place because that is how our lives have been here for the past four months and I don't think it is possible to organize, especially on paper unless I were a professional writer.   This has also been a reason for the blog post lapse.  Because,  where do you start when you are still in the middle of it, when it is still kicking your ass, when you have made progress but do not want to revisit what happened to get you to the point of only still being in the middle of it.  And then there is the whole thinking of, I don't even want to write this because so many more people are going through so much more and I feel like a total shit for thinking that this is a hard time.  So, let me say, I know I don't have it bad, but this country has been showing us the difficulties, culture, language barriers like we have not experienced before.  And all of this is because we are digging deeper into living here, buying a car, owning a business, being members of this country.  It makes me question myself, am I a wimp, do I not like difficulity?  No, I do not like difficulity. What have I done?  Can I handle this?  I am a strong person, I have been through shit, but why is THIS kicking my ass?   I do know that I like simplicity, peace, knowledge, communication, when it means taking care of business and getting things done.  When people ask me if I like living here right now my answer is no.  They all say, it must be wonderful, and I am thinking, you have no idea.  This could turn into a whole psychology piece of the whys and hows of who you are and what life is teaching you.  Whatever, I am 43 I have been through that ten fold.  After thinking about it, this is nothing more than living in a foreign country not knowing the language and working and living in that country as if you lived their all your life.  A friend once told me that if it were easy living here, then everybody would be doing it.

One thing I know for sure is that Ozzy and I could not do this without each other.  We each have our own battles to fight, him much more than me. We are constantly looking at each other  with a, "what the f#$k?" look, a look of fear, disgust, complete humor, who cares anymore look, we have sighs and knoding of the head in disbelief on an almost hourly basis.

So, about those battles.  Wait a minute, why do I have battles?  Where is Ozzy?  He has taken care of all of that since we moved here.  All I do is go to work and and come home and eat bon bons.  Well not anymore.  Daddy is busy working and cannot get away to take care of business in the home.  There is no more yelling "Ozzy" and telling him what needs to be done or fixed.  I have now become the fix it girl, the bus driver, communicator, and I use that term lightly, for the most part in a world that I know nothing about because my wonderful husband used to do it all.